The life-shaping breath

I love to imagine the breath as the way of living. The way you breathe shows your way of being aware of your life and your choices. The inhalation is for me a symbol of the openness to receive life. I think of it as the act of receiving what you want in life into yourself, and then, I see the exhalation as the act of letting go of all the things that you don't need and don't want in your life anymore.
It requires acceptance of both yourself and your environment: acceptance of where you are in your life right now, what you wish to receive more of in your heart, mind and body - and maybe most important - accepting that usually, everything you wish for is actually within reach. You just need to be open to meet it.
It may sound a little abstract, but when you see it in real life, it makes a lot of sense.

Often, after resting in Shavasana at the end of a yoga class, I ask my students to inhale what they wish to receive more of in life into themselves, and exhale everything, they don't wish to keep in their hearts and  bodies anymore. Whatever that might be. Bad, old habits, thoughts, relationships... And during this subtle and personal proces of receiving and letting go, I feel so much vulnerability and honesty in the class room. I hear how they inhale softly and lovingly, and I hear how they exhale loudly through the mouth with the sound of relief. And it is so incredibly beautiful that it makes me shiver all over. 

A couple of weeks ago, I realized that it was time for me to listen to my own words. I was always asking my students to choose their lives and relationships with awareness, but I needed to make choices of that kind in my own life, too. Slowly, I realized that an old relationship with a person, who had been one of the closest friends of mine for many years, was tearing me apart. She felt it, too. And even though we both tried in our different ways to rescue the remaining bits and pieces of our friendship, there was nothing to do.
This confrontation was to become my first real break-up with a friend.

Break-ups between lovers and couples is something almost everyone knows about, but among friends I think the appearance is much more rare. Bad friendships often fall apart by themselves over time. However, sometimes the frames of the friendship are so firm and solid that the parts are stuck together in a strong structure, until someone actively tries to do something to get out of the frames.
And it hurts. It makes you feel like a beast. But you also have to remember that you are the only one who can shape your life and take care of yourself. And that you will only be able to give love and friendship to others in the long term, if you have something to give of.

When you say "yes" to others, make sure that you are not saying "no" to yourself.