"I soften to be open to meet you"

"Here I am, sitting with the magic heart. In the heart space."
I looked up and smiled to the others in the circle. One by one, we got to hold a little wooden heart and tell about what hat happened in our lives since last time we met at the immersion in the beautiful, Swedish coolness of Göteborg.
"I find it difficult to put words on something so subtle as the change I'm going trough - now, over the last month and all the time. Everything is changing all the time. But there is one sentense, which has been very important to me the last month. It was the words, Anja said last time: "I soften to be open to meet you."  When she said these words - and physically showed it - I felt like ahaaa... This is it. I need to soften to be open to meet people around me, to myself - to everyone and everything. And I've been working on that."

*

We were working with the first principle of anusara yoga: Being open to grace. Anja was trying to explain us about making the sides of the body long, the inner body bright and dropping down the organ body. She walked the talk. First, she demonstrated a tensed person with a stiff and closed expression, with the sides of the body short, a tensed neck, hugging her abdomen nervously in and up, and presented herself with a tensed "Hello" to one of the others. And then she did the opposite. She set her grounded foundation, made her upper body tall and light, relaxed and softened in her whole being. She softened her face. Her eyes. Her gaze. And her whole being suddenly changed into being so extremely open, welcoming and friendly - radiating true, loving kindness. I felt completely overwhelmed.

"Maybe it's just an illusion, but I've experienced amazing things while trying to soften. I've tried to meet friends and strangers with softness. And meet myself with softness. meeting and experiencing moments with softness. My boyfriend says that I have a 12 track high way inside of me. I'm often storming in a lot of directions all the time, being very passionate about what I'm doing, being very intense.... And being very, very busy. So I've realized that working with softness and taking one step back is very important to me.

I've tried to soften to my choices. Do I really need to do the full primary series of Astanga tonight, when I'm exhausted and an sensible? Or do I actually just need to sit down for a while and meditate? And somehow, stepping back has taken me two steps forward. It has given me an energy-boost! The softening has given me time to rest and resettle, which has made my developments even bigger in both my yoga practise, my music... and in almost every part of life."

*

The softening has really made me step back and get closer to my hearts deepest desire. In my every moment. It has given me the posibility of really choosing the life, I want to live. The softening to my yoga practise has given me so much more energy; so much more authentic prescense, mentally and physically.
I have asked myself, what my deepest desire was about my music. And the answer was clear: playing chamber music with my amazing, beloved partners. And almost out of nowhere, my Duo con Passione, suddenly has got so much tailwind, and a lot of new projects - recordings, concerts and plans of participation in competitions - has suddenly been launched. I have tried to meet persons, who I have been trying to keep out of my life, with loving softness once again, and the outcome has been amazing. On the other hand, softening to myself has made me realize, what persons hasn't been nourishing for me to be around, and this has made me 'break up' with a very old and powerful friendship.
And then - not to forget - I have softened to my love. I have let him into my deepest heart space. And I really whish him to stay there!